ABUSE AND RAPE
You might wonder what this section is doing in 'relationships'...
Most abusers and perpetrators are known to and trusted by the person abused, whether it is a member of their own family or step-family, partner, friend or someone else who betrays and abuses their trust. Rape and sexual abuse can happen to men as well as women.
Rape and sexual assault
Being raped or sexually assaulted is an extremely distressing experience. If this has happened to you, remember that it is not your fault. You may know your attacker, which can make dealing with the situation even harder.
It can be very difficult to talk to someone about what has happened; some people choose not to tell anyone at all. However, there are specialist organisations set up to support you, and the police and health workers should have been specially trained to help you.
You can talk in confidence to a worker at Castlegate, or call in to ask about their counselling service. You can contact victim support for someone to talk to in confidence.
They should also be able to support you in going to the police, and with court and medical procedures.
Survivors UK is a national helpline for men (18+) who have been sexually abused or assaulted either recently or in the past.
York Women's Counselling Service - offer a counselling service to women on any issue. (This service is free but they ask for a donation if you can afford it).
If you need to get away from your partner (or ex partner) because of violence or abuse contact: Women's Aid, or the Customer Advice Centre who have a duty to help women and men escaping violence.
Reporting it to the police - although you can go to the police at any time after an attack, it is best to do this as soon as possible. They will probably ask you to provide medical evidence, so if you can you should avoid washing yourself or changing your clothes until you have been examined. They should arrange for someone of the same sex as you to do this if you prefer.
Going through an examination and questioning can be very stressful. It's a good idea to take someone you know with you, or someone from one of the organisations above.
Sexual abuse
If you have been sexually abused recently or a long time in the past, by a relative or someone else in a position of trust, there are specialist organisations who you can contact to speak to someone in confidence about your experience. Castlegate also offer a free and confidential counselling service (see fed up? and where to go for help for more information).
Survive support women survivors of sexual abuse. They run a helpline, self help group and offer free counselling, support and information, and advocacy help with going to court if you need it.
Survivors UK - a national helpline for men (18+) who have been sexually abused or assaulted either recently or in the past.